Am i in love? -2

I hope after seeing the title you may have judge about what I’m going to write this time. Yeah. Again it's about a "one day". Some time you won’t find any reasons behind what's happening with you. You have only choice. Whether you can enjoy it or you can ignore it. In my life, I usually never run behind the reasons. Because whenever I tried, I’ve lost preciousness of those moments. Hell!... What's a need to give load to our tiny brain? I'm using my company's computer to post here now days. A totally unprofessionalism I’m following now a days. But you know, it’s always pleasurable when you're doing wrong things intentionally. Last time after posting I was returning back to my flat. Again in the bus I was thinking that I’m making my each day memorable without any special efforts. I was thinking about the content I've posted. Is any incident left? Then I found so many things I could have written but I didn't. I was thinking, which one was the most memorable and funny? Are you guys going to enjoy it? Same time I was reading autobiography of Gandhiji. The story of my experiments with truth. Then I closed the book. I was probably tired. I closed my eyes. Suddenly I heard a lots of vehicle honking. I looked outside the window. But probably I haven't seen more than lots of heads with black hairs. I asked one uncle (DADA) seating beside me. "What’s the matter? Anything happened?"

He replied "Don’t know man. It's heavy crowd. Probably someone is knocked up by any vehicle."

I said "okay", without much interest and probably with dry expression. I close my eyes again, trying to sleep. But uncle wants to talk with me more.

He said “its Diwali time. And our Amdavadi people used to get mad during this time".

"Oh! Really! It’s a crowd of mad people" I told.

And our bus stuck in traffic. Hell. Again I'm gonna reach late today. What food I’m gonna eat today. I can’t stay away from thinking about food in anyway.

Dada told me “Do you know son, I'm of 78".

"Oh! No one can say that by looking you once" I smirked and said after observing his skin of face and strength of hair.

And here I got my first friend in the bus, age of 4 times greater than me. Conversation begins. I was not much interested because I wanted to sleep. But still I can’t insult insistent of someone to talk with me.

DADA: “Son, I did lots of research on the mentality of this city.

Me: “oh! Did you?”

Now DADA was turning in true color. Probably OSHO has entered now suddenly from somewhere. I don’t know why old people like to talk in sophisticated and high advice tone. Can’t they talk about movies and Girls? It’s more interesting after all.

DADA: “people are getting change. Look at the crowd. No one cares for anyone. They are rushing here and there just for their happiness. They can cut each other’s neck to held theirs up”

[“What's a new thing in it DADA. Now please don’t start with “BHAI BHAI NA J DUSHAMAN CHHE (Brothers enemy now)” stuffs”, I thought.]

Me: “Yeah. You're right.”

DADA: “I've lived here mine almost life. I've lived in Bapunagar for 40 years. Then moved toward another direction of city. I've worked here in "Baumali makan" (multi storage building) for 50 years. Now I'm retired. Enjoying the last days.

Me: “Ahemedabad is nice place to live. I do like crowds. I hate flats where people used to lock their self in to their well furniture room. I'm living here in Ahemedabad since 2 month and I don’t even know name of my neighbor and he always used to give me disgusting look every time I open up lock of my flat. I don’t found people more co-operative here.

DADA: “No boy. It's not like that. People are co-operative but they have lost trust from each other. Everyone is not like that. You don’t have much experience of human beings.”

[“How can I have an experience as I’m just passed out my engineering before 2 months? So I’m fresher. I hate this experience name stuff. Because in each and every interview they ask about my experience with technical stuffs and rejected me as I’m fresher with confusion of movement of electrons” I thought.]

Me: “Yeah! You’re right. I'm of age of your grandson."

DADA: “you know. City is dived in two parts by this river. West and East. And now there's vast difference in their culture too. The people belong from that side of river used to buy their shirts and pants from the Show room of any air-conditioned mall and here this side still people have tailor to stitch their outfits.”

Me: “That's true. Now it’s a matter of status dada.”

Then we talked about the mall culture and street culture for few minute. Dada was getting sentimental. Suddenly he pointed out the building in Lal darwaja.

DADA: “Boy. Look at that building. I've worked there. That window was mine.”

[“Come on DADA. Building has 10 floors and probably has 100 windows. How I can know which one was yours?” I thought]

Me: “Oh. You probably you have great view of city from there.”

DADA: “Of course. I have seen each and every moment of this city from that window.”

DADA stared at that building for few minutes. I was exchanging my look from building to dada and dada to building. Still I didn’t have figure out that window which one of his. And I was thinking about the view of evening from that window.

ME: “Dada. I think you're missing this place lot. People know you here. What you used to do now days? Don’t you getting boar without any work at home?”

DADA: “Hey! Who says I don’t have any work to do. Huh? I'm a working person still this moment of my life. Just scenario of work is changed. I travel this city every day. I do have good friend circle in Bapunagar. When you pass the 70, this AMTS allows benefits of age and you can travel in free. I used to go everyday there to meet my friends. We seat together, we orders BHAJIYA and GANTHIYA with cup of tea. We talks about our daily life. We discus about the things in which city is engaged. We do research about the life. Am I sounding workless now?”

[Wait a minute. DADA has mentioned a FOOD? Hell. I’m starving.]

Me: No. No way DADA. You’re awesome and doing most interesting stuff of life. You do have time to meet your friends. You do have time to remember your golden souvenirs. What anyone needs more than this? In my life too friends matter more than anything.”

DADA: “I've two sons. One is pharmacist and one is electronic engineer. Both are married and well settled. I've bought two flats for them. One day I live with elder one and on another day I live with another one. My electronic engineer has his own company at C.G.Road. Now tell about what i should have worry?”

Me: “DADA. I'm an engineer too. Just two month old in engineering world and probably youngest in my company”.

(“Hell DADA. Tell your son to give me better job in his Company,” I wished to tell him. But I couldn’t.)

Than we discuss about the life in ahmedabad. How one lives who used to ride an AUDI and how one live who doesn’t have rupees to take auto rickshaw and travels on his feet so many Kilometers.

At one stage we both became silent. He lost in his life he has lived and I lost in mine, what life I want to live. Oh man. Am I afraid of myself? Pratik. “Who are you, man?” I asked to myself. I guess it’s a wrong question. I should have asked "What are you, man?” Oh. What really I'm. I guessed. I have never thought. “Did I get whatever I want in my life ever? Am I satisfied with what I have?” I asked again.

“Nope. Never. Than how will you get the life, you want to live? Huh? You’re always pessimist.” I got reply from myself.

“Nah! I’m little more than pessimist.” I said.

“Hey! There's only one thing everybody has which never dies, and that’s hope.” I was convincing me.

“Oh hell. I don’t want sympathy now. I never got whatever I wanted but I never became sad for that thing. I'm living happily with the moments I’ve got. I never run behind the reasons and never want to. I become sad when something stuck but heal myself very Soon. And I’m improving man. I enjoy the surprises now whether it makes me sad or makes me happy. At least I’m not getting everyday same and boring to live. Before few years I was using this word when I used to put in unpredictable situation. "Why this happens to me?" and now I just smile and more smile. WOOOO... Its thrilling moment let's have damn party now. I was a failure at each and every aspect of my life. Yeah I’m damn failure till today. So what? Should I’ve to leave living? What the hell that makes any difference if nobody cares for me like I care for them. Should I’ve to leave taking care for them? I’ve never used to wear branded shirts and jeans like everyone else. So what? Should I’ve to start hating myself too? After all what you expect from life? A Job which pay me salary in 5 or 6 digit? A house painted in beautiful colors and has great outside sea shore view? A BMW of 6 million painted in shining silver color? Levis unbuttoned jeans and Gap t-shirts, each paired of 5000? A girl who has figure like Megan fox or Scarlet Johnson? Fame like Gandhiji, so future currency contains your face instead of him? Huh? And suppose if you’ll get these things, than what? Your objective of living is over or you’ll start expecting more high five things? Huh? And what’s the wrong if I’ll die as a person what I’m right now? I’ll be a ghost and wander here and there in searching of life I’ve never got. And it’s really easy for the ghost to get everything whatever they want, I’ve heard let’s try”. I asked to myself. I felt a bit noise of silence here.

“Hey Pratik! You’re on the way of your life you want to live.” Inner voice came.

"Ambawadi", Conductor screamed and broke the meandering waves of my thoughts. I smiled to DADA. I said Bye. I wanted to thank him. But didn’t. Again he made my day unforgettable and gave you to read this post. Oh! Sorry I don’t remember his name. But still thanks man. But it would be better if he has talked to his son about my job. Lol.

Am I really falling in love with this crowded city full of dirty roads and with its unpredictable combination of accidents with co-incidents?

Am I in love?

At sharp 6.45 am in the morning, alarm starts to ring. I open up my eyes. Shit, the first reaction on my face. I used to sleep again and sets alarm of 7.00 am. Again after 15 minutes it starts to torture me again. This alarm is one of the worst equipment ever invented by human being, I tell you. Don’t know why the hell time of night passes so fast? Just before half an hour I slept, how can sun rise so early, it feels every day to me. At 7.45 am, I used to get city bus from Vastrapur and dropped at Ambawadi at 7.55 am. And here I start to count each n every minute for the bus no. 151. I pray that “bus will empty, so I can stretch myself for another 45 minutes in sleep”. And my journey starts when driver gears up the bus. It takes another 45 minutes for the bus to reach at Ramol patiya. I close my eyes and try to sleep but brain starts to think, a failure attempt. I tell you this is the busiest route of this AMTS service carrying different people from different class. From the one stand a gentle man climbs up the stair of the bus with the TITAN watch on his wrist and Ray Ban goggles and from another station an old worker climbs up the stair with old Tiffin and torn shirt. And within a 15 minutes bus gets full like hell from Lal darwaja. Person can’t even breathe properly. From those people, 80% percent crowds belong from lower class (I know, I don’t have any right to decide the classes of people, so don’t take it in a wrong way). I stare to them and try to figure out what he is feeling right now? Whether he’s happy or he’s just trying to hide sadness under a fake smile? How much he used to earn everyday and how much he used to save? Whether he has wife who has cooked that food inside Tiffin and child playing with the toys if he has? Whether his children used to go to school or he’s also working somewhere else like his father so both ends can meet every day? Whether he is used to sleep at night or spends his night on the road under bare sky? Which ingredients his wife used to cook the food and how it taste? Whether he has bought ticket or just travelling free so he can save 3Rs? Does he used to celebrate the festivals or just used to pass it like Empty River of summer? Doesn’t this grown up man used to cry and curse the god for the life he has got? Since how long he’s living this life like a hell? Or does his life like a hell in real? Or just I’m thinking this crap to just pass this boring time? I observe these different faces among the heavy crowds and try to compare my life with them? Am I feeling sad now? Or am I really lucky because I’m called engineer now? Can I survive if I used to put in those situations of life? Why the hell there’s so much pain in this world and why people are bearing it? Don’t these people ever want to succeed in their life? Don’t they dream about cars and bungalows? Don’t they want to speak English? Don’t they want to eat in five stars hotels? Don’t they want to fly in aeroplane and want to stare at hot air hostess? I try to ignore these thoughts and turn my face towards the window. The world outside the window is moving so fast, I think. Hey come on that’s just because of relative speed between bus and others. Every day at CTM cross road our bus used to cross staff bus of AIA engineering company. It’s MNC. I do look at the faces seating inside that buses. How engineers of an MNC do looks? Of course looks calm and in half sleep mode. After all for what the hell they are worrying? Huh? I do think that here in my bus I’m seating among those who cannot sleep at night in worrying of tomorrow and in this staff bus still employees are sleeping without worrying of work load. May be if I can get the job in an MNC so I can live life like them and don’t have to suffer in this much heavy crowds, I used to think. These heavy storms of heavy thoughts never end till I reach at Ramol Patiya. After reaching Ramol Patiya, first I’ll go to bajarang tea, the most famous chay wala ,to take a sip. Now here atmosphere seems like this every day. So many workers of G.I.D.C. gather every morning to take sip here. They’ll drink cutting in 5 minutes and then they’ll spend at least an hour there. They’ll read news paper loudly so his neighbour won’t have to read it. Than these buddies will start to discuss about news they’ve read. They’ll start worry about the future of India suddenly. Some will discuss the politics like they’re going to stand in this election. They’ll give suggestion if manmohan singh has done this than it would be better. Another group is discussing about the sport. “Sachin should have take retirement now”. “Indian cricketers concentrate on Adds more than game”. “this 20-20 is better than test matches”. “Indian team is going to sink soon, their future is dark”. Hell..!!! The most common sentences they’re exchanging every day. I smirk and take my way towards my company. Adco controls, 5318 plot no. phase-4VATVA G.I.D.C. When I’ve joined the first question raised in my mind was “what does this ADCO means?” huh? Does any one know? I don’t have found this answer yet. Here workers are interesting. They have thousands idea how not to work every day. But they are insane about their self for what they are. And I do like that thing the most. They work here for company like hell and earn them in amount of 8 digits and if you’ll ask him how much company pay him? They’ll answer their salary in just 4 digits. And of course with smile. How they can be so happy in just 4 digits though it’s not fair enough or they deserve more than it or they belong from too middle class families? Huh? But they enjoy the work like they are born to do that only. I stay there till 6.00 pm. I do wait very eagerly when in my computer clock show digit 6.00. I rush toward the Ramol Patiya again so I can catch the bus of 6.10 pm otherwise I’ll have to wait another half an hour. And in the evening if I can see the bus empty than it must be a dream only. I curse the crowds. Why do these much people used to get leave on same time or why the hell these much people are working here? Huh? Now Again I’m in bus and again I’m watching the faces with thousands of expression carrying along. Oh not again. I tell to my brain. But it won’t stop showing insanity. Again I start to observe people. Some are fighting and burst in riots just to get sit on the window. One wants to open it and one wants to keep it shut. I don’t know what the hell is there to fighting for? There’s one guy whom I see every day and I found him most peace full person among us. He used to sit from the first station of this bus and used to travel till final station. He used to drink wine every day, used to grab one seat and used to lost in his world. Let the world go to the hell and let me enjoy the sleep, probably he thinks. One day he stood up suddenly and gave me space to seat. I amazed why he did this? He still has to travel at least an hour. But he didn’t know that he has to travel a lot still coz he has drunk a lot and thought that his place has arrived so gave me space. Love you man. I was too tired on that day. How interesting the crap talk seems while listening it in the bus. Every day I do found at least one thing that I can remember for life time and can tell my grand Childs. Loll. One day I found a man who has explained me how to get the bus pass. And you know He took 45 minutes to explain and I got that pass within just 15 minutes of procedure.Why I had bear that uncle for 45 minutes long? Huh? One day one uncle and aunty were discussing about the current generation. They were cursing the boys and girls working in call centres. They were cursing their dressing. They were cursing hair style. They were cursing computer games and internet. I don’t know why they get bad impression in their mind when listen the word internet? Huh? They used to look at me and then start another point regarding that discussion. I gave him annoyed look and turn my face away. One day one uncle and aunty (dada and dadi) of age about 60 was fighting just because by mistake that grand pa touched her while buying ticket. I don’t know what the point is there to fight at the stage of this age. Public were enjoying that lot rather than making both calm. One day our bus driver started to fight with truck driver just coz that truck driver has jammed the traffic and our bus driver cares for it more than traffic police. One day one commercial and business woman mother was giving high dose of sophisticated advice to her daughter who is hardly of 5 year. I wanted to tell her that let her enjoy the view of outside the window, let her see the world at own, let just live the child inside of her. One day an old lady was travelling with her grandson of 4 years and wanted me to give seat of window so her grandson can seat peacefully. I gave space to seat but that little terrorist refused to seat with me coz he was getting afraid of me. I stood up and let his grandma seat. He became my friend than. One day I lost my APPLE i-pod by mistake. I rushed behind that bus up to 5 km in rickshaw but didn’t found. And there are lots of such one days I’m enjoying every day. And finally at evening, after travelling around two hours I used to reach at my flat. Tired with the thoughts I sleeps around 12.00. And again at sharp 6.45 am in the morning, alarm starts to ring. And life proceeds further in same manner. That’s the life I’m living right now. Hell.... Am I falling in love with Ahmedabad? .....

The Nights of Lights

while I'm writting this, Gujarat has rocked the land again with the beats of dandiya. If you will arrange a pole for the best festival, a Gujarati likes, than navratri will win without any opponent.you know what is the most special things about the festival in india?. it is the atmosphere of few days before the festival. Eagerness and planning and discussing about the way we gonna celebrate it.all that stuff are rally awesome.we people are passionate about the
festival.Like that before few days of navratri, atmosphere becomes somewhat like this. People started to play garba in their home and started to buy latest version of it.The hand carts comes out with the lots of pirated cds and dvds. People arranges meetings to discuss what will be snack this time we gonna distribute and what will be the prize?. people used to call their friend and relatives to invite at their home for celebration. Women starts to cook special sweets and dishes. Of course they start to shopping and spending heavy mount too. Did i need to mention that? They started t buy traditional outfits and make -up kits and all those stuff which are of no use probably. So the thing is that atmosphere during these days are like something big gonna arrive and we are waiting to welcome it. And that's really fantastic. I want to find that man who started this tradition of playing garba for 9 nights, so i can bow him. I don't know much history about it but although i want to write about it, the way a single gujarati loves this festival. We used to play garba to please gods.you can say one type of praying. but while playing garba probably no one would have this thing in their mind except some elders. i dint know since when our people used to celebrate this nights but i must say that they have made these nights enormous for every one's life here. And the music, i can bet that a paralysed person will stand up to dance. Probably you guys have seen step up series of Hollywood and you must be fan of it. but if you'll compare those steps with the steps of our Gujarati garba style, you will make dvd of it and will see everyday instead of those movies. without any choreography, without any guidance, without much practice how can anyone remember these much steps?. In Most of people's mind the image of Gujarati woman is somewhat like this. Gujarati women are huge in size (huge in sense of fat not in height) and don't care about their figure, they used to eat and used to sleep a lot. that's why they famous as "SHETHANI". yeah, probably everything is right, i do agree with you too. But when it comes to at navratri, i wish you should see them during garba time. you're jaws will fell and this words will come out "What a stamina !!!". I'll say, an athlete will ashamed after seeing stamina of these women. How can such heavy and huge body can dance straight whole
night?. huh?.is there any special drug they're taking?. yes, there's a drug and that's faith in their heart for god and love for the navaratri. Don't dare to stop them or to interrupt them. you won't get food for a week at home than. lol . Now another question always strikes whenever navratri used to come. "Why do girls look so beautiful in navratri?, why?". Damn !! An ordinary girl who used to wear simple dress everyday, who used to call "DESI" in all the way, no body used to notice them suddenly becomes the princess when wears traditional clothes. And here her time comes. i can tell you that you'll see the most beautiful girl of your life in the navratri only. "Chaniya chori" the traditional dress of garba. And there's neck cut competition between girls to wear the best traditional outfits. And rush to buy this CHANIYA CHOLI seems like crowd of riot. you won't get a space for stepping single foot in "CHAUTA BAZAR" of Surat and "LAW-GARDEN" of Ahmadabad. You'll find more amount of carbon DI-oxide than oxygen at those place. Girls get originality. Usually Garba used to start around 9.00 pm but these girls will start to make their self up since 5.00 pm of evening. Why do they take so much long time?. even they wont have answer of this question. hey don't worry, take your time but be sure that you're looking the most beautiful among all. After all we should not have any regret of waiting those long hours. Now let's move to the music. The lyrics of garbas are as typical as understanding encryption for the new generation people like us. But when you starts to get those words, they sounds really awesome as written by Gulzar or Prasoon joshi. But you should be knowledge of typical Gujarati language, because you'll find thousands of new Gujarati accent in that. Even sometimes it creates problem for me to understand although I'm born GUJARATI. And singers,
what to say about them? is anyone there who can sing straight 5 or 6 hours on every 9 nights with intensity like lighting?. huh?. But here we have those people who looks so ordinary in their clothes and sings extra ordinary during these 9 nights. They know when to sing, what to sing as per mood of "garba player". Because when garba starts to get rhythm, they are slow like a bull-cart. and slowly slowly it takes acceleration in the beats. and in last every one lost with the steps. Here in the years of the new age, in the new trend every thing is changing. Like that now there's one new trend in garba too, calls PARTY PLOTS. Before few years each and every streets and society used to decorate with "MANDAPS" and lights and small establishment of "MATAJI"(goddess). and this trend used to call SHERI GARBA. but this party plot has almost replace SHERI GARBA now days. In one big club or in farm or in resort or in big grounds people gathers to play. But mine point of view is that SHERI GARBA was better. Because PARTY PLOT thing seems like a business and that SHERI GARBA seems like a work of love of neighbours for each other to celebrate festival with joy and delights.just think. in party plot you are playing with those who are almost unknown for you and in street you are playing with the friends who are as old as you guys were wearing "CHADDIS". now tell me which will give you more pleasure? huh?. Anyway I'm not against it all because in party plot you can check out other beautiful girls than your street. We gujrati can't stay away from business that you all know.Business lies in the blood of Gujarati's. old says. I'll say business lies in the DNA of Gujarats. Because here in these party plots there's a vast arrangement of small food stalls. and all small food stall used to profit best of their years. But what ever it is. Now at last just imagine
one scene in your mind that will give you a great example of faith and love for navratri. Just imagine a place where around 2 to 5 thousands people used to get together with the steel plate contained of lamp of ghee.(we calls it AARTI) And together sings an AARTI. Just imagine this scene at night. How 2000 to 5000 lamps looks together and what will be the volume of AARTI which is being sing?. huh?. that's it. I guess no need to say anything more now. We enjoys
garba like those are the only days we gets for live or to die. I suggest to see you once the true colors of garba and you'll fall in love with it for a life time.

PEACE AND LOVE