I need a Shotgun

In the life, Sometimes you feel like that “why don’t you have any rights to kill someone?”, “Give me a shot gun, I want to shoot right in between the eyes of this bastard ".” This person has no authority to live a life and call a human being". Don't you feel? Yep. Everyone feels. Most probably after watching Ekta kapoor's serials or after listening songs of Himesh Reshamiya. They are as horrible as nightmare. Okay. Apart from the joke, you'll seriously feel like that in your day-life. Before the few days, I was sipping the tea at our regular kittle. It's really habitual now to take nicotine from there. I can't stay away from drinking the tea. You'll find the best mixture of the nicotine and the milk at the Nilkanth tea stall. It's not a famous one in our area, but I do feel it serves the best. And the location it gets is something you can call unique like shown in the movie. In the deep street, at the last shop, and beside that shop you'll find one of the darkest, deepest and longest another street. Probably no one can imagine that there is a tea stall until and unless some one takes you there. The owner name is "I don't know" as usual. But every morning he used to say me "JAY BHOLENATH" when I used to go there. And I used to greet him with "HAR HAR MAHADEV". I'm not that much religious boy but still it brings name of the god every morning, and I feel good about it. He is tall and he has big moustache. I know him as BIG-MAN. He's quite, you can say like dedicated in his work. One day He was telling how he used to serve with his best and that’s why how he used to manage so many customers even he's not the famous CHAY WALA. You know, we have made one type of bondage in the relation as he's serving me as a special customer and pour tea in the special cups. I respect him a lot. But still I don't know his name. He looks like the Guajarati but he's the Rajasthani by born and he has lots of problem in the accent of Gujarati language. He lives nearby, but I guess he doesn’t has wife because so many times I’ve seen him cooking in the shop. One day he was offering me food also. But I want a shot gun or a machine gun and I want to hit all those bullets, how many a gun can be filled with, right in to his head. Yeah, I really want to. No doubt, he serves the best tea and always serves with me that best one. But I still want to see his photo in news paper stating killed by me. Oh! Don't worry, I haven't made any special hit list and he's not on the top of that. But yes, He has no right to live. That shop also has another 3 members. One uncle is as old as much him, he just used to smile everyday to me rather than greeting me with another god's name like "JAY SWAMINARAYN" or anything else. So I just smile back to him daily. And there's only a SMILE-RELATION between us. And another 2 members are small boys.

Yeah, little boys of the age of, I guess, 8 to 12 years. Both don't speak much. They only re-act only when their two bosses used to roar at them. "OYE, take those cups", "come on! Wash the plates quickly", " Where the hell are you moron? That guy is waiting for his damn cup". These all are command lines for him and they'll do their work like an order of the army man. They'll only speak to you if you had forgotten to pay the money or forgotten to take the money back. Honest boys, you know. Before few days I was thinking that they both were son or relatives of those two owners. One day I decided to talk with one of those two little guys. I called him to bring tea and he brought in a flash of the light. I asked him to sit with me but he refused gently. He couldn't sit otherwise his boss would scream and curse. I asked him “where you're studying?". But he choose to answer me with the silence. I asked again “In which standard you're studying?". Again I'm answered by the silence. I thought to leave the efforts.But suddenly it struck and I asked “Are you studying or not boy?".And here I got the answer in his shook of head. Hell man!! I looked to the BIG-MAN and asked in angry voice, “Is he not studying?"

He said “NO” in cold voice. I stunned. The taste of tea was not good anymore as I feel there everyday. I asked again “Why he's not studying?".

"It's written in his destiny not to study", BIG-MAN answered. And that hit me like a hell. AND rest conversation is like this.

Me: "But there's a government school, you'll get an education in free."

BIG-MAN:"Who'll keep these boys? Who’ll give space to live them?"

ME:" Of course you, Aren't they are your anything?"

BIG-MAN: "Nope, They are nobody to us."

Me: "Then? Then who are these boys? From where they belong?"

BIG-MAN: "They are here to work only. They are from Rajasthan, far away 70km from my village. Nothing more than it"

Me: "Hell, And where's their parents?"

BIG-MAN: "In the Rajasthan"

Me:" So these boys are living here in another state, probably not aware of geography of Gujarat, without education, working like a stupid dogs, And for what? "

BIG-MAN: "to earn the money of course, to help their parents, it's their choice"

Me: "this is totally unfair, are they going to wash your cups and plates for their entire life?"

BIG-MAN: "Of course, what else can they do? It's written in their destiny, I told you. If every one become rich than whom will you call poor? If mason will become rich than who will built the house? Everyone has their roll in the life. And these boys have theirs."

And here I needed that SHOT-GUN. I wanted to kill him, the person whom I respect a lot for his dedication for tea, and the person who used to greet me with name of god. Is he really speaking these words? How can a human thought like this even?

ME: "Oh man! Who the hell are you to decide their destiny? Huh? He wants to study. I can sense that thing in their silence"

BIG-MAN remained speechless then. I looked towards the boy. He was a bit terrified. I asked if he wants to study or not? But again his silence gave me an answer. I turned towards another boy and asked the same thing. He replied “Will you teach me ENGLISH?"

Me: "Definitely buddy, every Sunday, 2 hours for you".

He smiled. I smiled and turn towards the big man. But he was not happy at all.

He told me:"shop is open for Sunday too, He can't come".

Me: "I'm just asking for only two hours. I won't take any fees, man!"

But He shook his head. I turned my face and noticed the expression of boys. I paid the bill and left. Then I remembered faces of Boys. One was looking sad. One was numb and cleaning the surface of table. Both were annoyed. I had not strength to say them sorry. I had not strength to say them that I can’t help you boys. I had not strength to smile at them. I had not strength to ask for my tea. I was feeling so weak that I can’t help them. That’s why I just left. I was thinking about their eyes, how their eyes were lit up when he was asking about learning English and how his eyes were almost wet when the BIG-MAN refused to let him learn. I was thinking how both will look after 20 years cleaning the mess in that shop? I can’t keep both with me as I'm still struggling to survive in the city of 5.2 million populations. I wanted to go back and wanted to explain how those boys can be an engineer or a doctor. But I didn't go. I didn't have that much courage. I tried to sleep but those innocent eyes were staring at me. I felt the weakest among all the human being.

Next morning I went there again. Things were changed. I was not greeted by "JAY BHOLENATH" anymore. I looked to the boys. Like every day they were working calmly. One boy looked at me and then turned his face without smile. BIG-MAN brought the tea. Oh! Tea was not good too. The first time I didn't enjoy tea there. The taste of nicotine didn't please me. I don’t have strength to go back there now. I want to help them. But I don’t have strength, I don’t have courage. I’m weak.

The Window seat

Okay. So after reading the title again You've thought that I'm gonna share my experience of that ugly crowdie busy journey. Right?. But I will like to prove you wrong this time. Yeah.Agreed that the title seems like that but this time it is not my that so called memorable journey, it’s your journey, its everyone’s journey.

Just give a guess to your the most powerful organ named brain that what you think about,when you used to step up into the bus or train? If you're a boy then there should be 2 choice. 1st A Window seat and 2nd Ofcourse A beautiful girl on beside seat. Do I need to mention 2nd one? nah..!! And if you're a girl then once again there should 2 choice. 1st but obvious A window seat. 2nd again any Girl (not necessary whether it is beautiful or not). Oh don’t think I made mistake in 2nd option. It was for a girl and girl will always need another girl in her beside seat.(except case of married couple, all married are martyr, lets never think about them) In India there's no chance that girl has desire to give beside seat to any guy. They don’t trust on us. Don’t know what we have done so bad for them. And still you don’tbelieve then please go in public and arrange pole for it. "Whom a girl seeks in beside seat?". The result will prove me right. And If you're a boy than you must aware of how a girl(even though she's not beautiful) gives you disgusting look when you grab seat beside her. She'll stare at you, then will look for her duppatta (like we are rapist), then will give a hand to their hair like they are giving a shot for any movie, then will yawn to give a sign that she didn’t have notice us and don’t care for us, And still if you're looking at her(If she's beautiful) then you'll be rated as the most nonsense boy she has ever met inher entire life and give you a "Don't dare to talk with me" look. But we boys will take allthis as our honor and will start to ignore her(except the case, you have nice long record in flirting). And I bet you girls can’t ignore our ignorance. But this ignorance will improve your impression, I tell you. And now I'm not here to give you tips how to set a girl (If she's beautiful) in journey so let's move to that window seat for what I want to write.

So we were at what you'll think when you step up in to the bus or train. Right? And in both case we got the window seat as first choice. But why we always think about the window seat only? why? Is there any particular reason? Or someone gonna give you award for seating on window seat maximum times? Nah.! then why? What it gives pleasure to look outside the window? You can also enjoy it from beside seat. No big deal. If you gonna give reason that

I’m gonna get fresh air then please don't give that. it will be foolish. Because you know that very well, that you and window seated will feel same breeze of air. Won't make any difference at all. If you think that the journey will comfortable at window seat then tell me are there thrones they have glued so journey becomes un-comfortable beside the window seat? No. Then why we come to at killing someone to enjoy the window seat? nah! Seriously. Don’t you ask for only window seat while booking you ticket in advance? If there's not availability of window seat than you'll give him a sad sigh and will ask you to do some adjustment. dont you? And If there isn't any possibility then simply you'll move to another agent taking the same demand. Oh! that agent has lost one customer due to this window seat.What's there in that window seat? is there any black magic they have done while making those seats?

Let me try to tell you about that magic what i feel. But it’s not black. Not at all. When I used to grab that window seat first of all I feel something different from the rest of the passengers. Like I'm unique to get this black magic seat. Of course it sounds stupid and it is. I have relief that now I'm not the part of that ugly crowd. Of course the person seating beside is not too. But still he'll feel pushes from crowd and being asked to adjust. But here I'm king now. I look outside. Hell.. again all the same things. Nothing is changed today. Those old green trees, those all big hoardings, those all big shops. And I wish if i can fill lives on those un-moving object created by man and god(talking about trees) So i can have different views every day. But it is useless to think about. Moving House and shops will look scary. So nothing changes here. Oh! where's that magic of window seat man? is all that excitement to grab window seat burnt in air now? Yeah!. Probably. But still people will cut your throat to register their seat. Just try to observe the person looking outside the window. Just try to observe his/her eyes and expression while gazing outside the window. And if there's any boy then of course he has only one aim to look outside and i don't need to mention it now. I know you're smart. But just notice how he stretch his stare from starting to ending. How his eyes roll and scan everything about that girl. Oh! I don’t want A certificate for my post so won't write more now. I know you're too smart and will understand everything at own. And suppose you found any known face outside the window then literally you'll scream. Like you'll give him thumbs up that you got window seat and going somewhere. And also you will to catch more attention of other public. Count it in Benefits of window seat. And think you're travelling at 4 a.m. in the morning of winter, you fight with the fellow passenger to grab window seat, you succeed, you take seat, And now you realize that oh! Hell.. the window is broken and you haven't wear sweater. Probably you'll use lots of "F" words to drivers and conductors and of course to our government. Here you'll enjoy the true color of black magic. Experience is speaking.

But these window seat has taken a little and special place in corner of our heart. I see same trees, same shops, same hoardings, same roads, but still I don’t get bore. No one can bore. How it seems interesting to see naked children bathing outside the house in summer from window seat. how it seems interesting to watch fighting burst out on the road from window seat. How it seems interesting to listen abusing of passenger who has waited so long on the bus stop and driver don’t stop the bus there. How it seems interesting to enjoy when traffic jams and one beautiful girl on scooty wearing goggles stops beside your window seat. How it seems so cool to breath while bus passing over the river from window seat. How it

seems interesting to watch when sun is rising and stars is seting in early morning from window seat. How it seems so pleasurable to watch small children rushing for the school hanging a water bag in their neck. How it seems interesting to notice the name of small ugly streets and ugly cart of fast food. How it seems so interesting to see the world rushing here and there with anxiety to search their own world. And How it seems interesting to notice the passenger inside the bus giving annoyed look that they don’t have window seat and you have.

That's the magic.