Am i in love? -2

I hope after seeing the title you may have judge about what I’m going to write this time. Yeah. Again it's about a "one day". Some time you won’t find any reasons behind what's happening with you. You have only choice. Whether you can enjoy it or you can ignore it. In my life, I usually never run behind the reasons. Because whenever I tried, I’ve lost preciousness of those moments. Hell!... What's a need to give load to our tiny brain? I'm using my company's computer to post here now days. A totally unprofessionalism I’m following now a days. But you know, it’s always pleasurable when you're doing wrong things intentionally. Last time after posting I was returning back to my flat. Again in the bus I was thinking that I’m making my each day memorable without any special efforts. I was thinking about the content I've posted. Is any incident left? Then I found so many things I could have written but I didn't. I was thinking, which one was the most memorable and funny? Are you guys going to enjoy it? Same time I was reading autobiography of Gandhiji. The story of my experiments with truth. Then I closed the book. I was probably tired. I closed my eyes. Suddenly I heard a lots of vehicle honking. I looked outside the window. But probably I haven't seen more than lots of heads with black hairs. I asked one uncle (DADA) seating beside me. "What’s the matter? Anything happened?"

He replied "Don’t know man. It's heavy crowd. Probably someone is knocked up by any vehicle."

I said "okay", without much interest and probably with dry expression. I close my eyes again, trying to sleep. But uncle wants to talk with me more.

He said “its Diwali time. And our Amdavadi people used to get mad during this time".

"Oh! Really! It’s a crowd of mad people" I told.

And our bus stuck in traffic. Hell. Again I'm gonna reach late today. What food I’m gonna eat today. I can’t stay away from thinking about food in anyway.

Dada told me “Do you know son, I'm of 78".

"Oh! No one can say that by looking you once" I smirked and said after observing his skin of face and strength of hair.

And here I got my first friend in the bus, age of 4 times greater than me. Conversation begins. I was not much interested because I wanted to sleep. But still I can’t insult insistent of someone to talk with me.

DADA: “Son, I did lots of research on the mentality of this city.

Me: “oh! Did you?”

Now DADA was turning in true color. Probably OSHO has entered now suddenly from somewhere. I don’t know why old people like to talk in sophisticated and high advice tone. Can’t they talk about movies and Girls? It’s more interesting after all.

DADA: “people are getting change. Look at the crowd. No one cares for anyone. They are rushing here and there just for their happiness. They can cut each other’s neck to held theirs up”

[“What's a new thing in it DADA. Now please don’t start with “BHAI BHAI NA J DUSHAMAN CHHE (Brothers enemy now)” stuffs”, I thought.]

Me: “Yeah. You're right.”

DADA: “I've lived here mine almost life. I've lived in Bapunagar for 40 years. Then moved toward another direction of city. I've worked here in "Baumali makan" (multi storage building) for 50 years. Now I'm retired. Enjoying the last days.

Me: “Ahemedabad is nice place to live. I do like crowds. I hate flats where people used to lock their self in to their well furniture room. I'm living here in Ahemedabad since 2 month and I don’t even know name of my neighbor and he always used to give me disgusting look every time I open up lock of my flat. I don’t found people more co-operative here.

DADA: “No boy. It's not like that. People are co-operative but they have lost trust from each other. Everyone is not like that. You don’t have much experience of human beings.”

[“How can I have an experience as I’m just passed out my engineering before 2 months? So I’m fresher. I hate this experience name stuff. Because in each and every interview they ask about my experience with technical stuffs and rejected me as I’m fresher with confusion of movement of electrons” I thought.]

Me: “Yeah! You’re right. I'm of age of your grandson."

DADA: “you know. City is dived in two parts by this river. West and East. And now there's vast difference in their culture too. The people belong from that side of river used to buy their shirts and pants from the Show room of any air-conditioned mall and here this side still people have tailor to stitch their outfits.”

Me: “That's true. Now it’s a matter of status dada.”

Then we talked about the mall culture and street culture for few minute. Dada was getting sentimental. Suddenly he pointed out the building in Lal darwaja.

DADA: “Boy. Look at that building. I've worked there. That window was mine.”

[“Come on DADA. Building has 10 floors and probably has 100 windows. How I can know which one was yours?” I thought]

Me: “Oh. You probably you have great view of city from there.”

DADA: “Of course. I have seen each and every moment of this city from that window.”

DADA stared at that building for few minutes. I was exchanging my look from building to dada and dada to building. Still I didn’t have figure out that window which one of his. And I was thinking about the view of evening from that window.

ME: “Dada. I think you're missing this place lot. People know you here. What you used to do now days? Don’t you getting boar without any work at home?”

DADA: “Hey! Who says I don’t have any work to do. Huh? I'm a working person still this moment of my life. Just scenario of work is changed. I travel this city every day. I do have good friend circle in Bapunagar. When you pass the 70, this AMTS allows benefits of age and you can travel in free. I used to go everyday there to meet my friends. We seat together, we orders BHAJIYA and GANTHIYA with cup of tea. We talks about our daily life. We discus about the things in which city is engaged. We do research about the life. Am I sounding workless now?”

[Wait a minute. DADA has mentioned a FOOD? Hell. I’m starving.]

Me: No. No way DADA. You’re awesome and doing most interesting stuff of life. You do have time to meet your friends. You do have time to remember your golden souvenirs. What anyone needs more than this? In my life too friends matter more than anything.”

DADA: “I've two sons. One is pharmacist and one is electronic engineer. Both are married and well settled. I've bought two flats for them. One day I live with elder one and on another day I live with another one. My electronic engineer has his own company at C.G.Road. Now tell about what i should have worry?”

Me: “DADA. I'm an engineer too. Just two month old in engineering world and probably youngest in my company”.

(“Hell DADA. Tell your son to give me better job in his Company,” I wished to tell him. But I couldn’t.)

Than we discuss about the life in ahmedabad. How one lives who used to ride an AUDI and how one live who doesn’t have rupees to take auto rickshaw and travels on his feet so many Kilometers.

At one stage we both became silent. He lost in his life he has lived and I lost in mine, what life I want to live. Oh man. Am I afraid of myself? Pratik. “Who are you, man?” I asked to myself. I guess it’s a wrong question. I should have asked "What are you, man?” Oh. What really I'm. I guessed. I have never thought. “Did I get whatever I want in my life ever? Am I satisfied with what I have?” I asked again.

“Nope. Never. Than how will you get the life, you want to live? Huh? You’re always pessimist.” I got reply from myself.

“Nah! I’m little more than pessimist.” I said.

“Hey! There's only one thing everybody has which never dies, and that’s hope.” I was convincing me.

“Oh hell. I don’t want sympathy now. I never got whatever I wanted but I never became sad for that thing. I'm living happily with the moments I’ve got. I never run behind the reasons and never want to. I become sad when something stuck but heal myself very Soon. And I’m improving man. I enjoy the surprises now whether it makes me sad or makes me happy. At least I’m not getting everyday same and boring to live. Before few years I was using this word when I used to put in unpredictable situation. "Why this happens to me?" and now I just smile and more smile. WOOOO... Its thrilling moment let's have damn party now. I was a failure at each and every aspect of my life. Yeah I’m damn failure till today. So what? Should I’ve to leave living? What the hell that makes any difference if nobody cares for me like I care for them. Should I’ve to leave taking care for them? I’ve never used to wear branded shirts and jeans like everyone else. So what? Should I’ve to start hating myself too? After all what you expect from life? A Job which pay me salary in 5 or 6 digit? A house painted in beautiful colors and has great outside sea shore view? A BMW of 6 million painted in shining silver color? Levis unbuttoned jeans and Gap t-shirts, each paired of 5000? A girl who has figure like Megan fox or Scarlet Johnson? Fame like Gandhiji, so future currency contains your face instead of him? Huh? And suppose if you’ll get these things, than what? Your objective of living is over or you’ll start expecting more high five things? Huh? And what’s the wrong if I’ll die as a person what I’m right now? I’ll be a ghost and wander here and there in searching of life I’ve never got. And it’s really easy for the ghost to get everything whatever they want, I’ve heard let’s try”. I asked to myself. I felt a bit noise of silence here.

“Hey Pratik! You’re on the way of your life you want to live.” Inner voice came.

"Ambawadi", Conductor screamed and broke the meandering waves of my thoughts. I smiled to DADA. I said Bye. I wanted to thank him. But didn’t. Again he made my day unforgettable and gave you to read this post. Oh! Sorry I don’t remember his name. But still thanks man. But it would be better if he has talked to his son about my job. Lol.

Am I really falling in love with this crowded city full of dirty roads and with its unpredictable combination of accidents with co-incidents?